My Drama. My Life.

Each script is unique -

Monday, October 30, 2006
8:54 AM

Escaped my own Loneliness Complex

Woke up early once more. With only 7 hours of sleep!! Sighness.

Then went online, blah blah.

SMSing Fernando. And eventually arranged to meet at City Hall. I wanted to go Esplanade area to get out of the house for a while. So, yea, met him. Of course, I was late. But he was 2mins later! Ha!

Went walking to Esplanade. Returned Mama's library books. Bought cupcorn, candy floss, drinks. Walked to a 'quiet' place to sit down & chat. We chatted [once again] about Adam! Haha!! Adam got paranoid too. Kept on SMSing me, asking why am I meeting Fernando for dinner....

Actually, supposed to meet Mama as well. But she!! Had to back out last minute. Dammit.

So Fernando & I decided to go for a movie. DOA!

Fernando: It's a BIMBO movie!!
Me: Wells, all the more I will like it!
Fernando: Hmm. Yea true.
Me: -.- [tempted to smack his head]

Then we passed by this picture....The basic of it was merely a whole page of faces, then a huge similar middle one. However, the middle one does not have eyes nor nose, only a mouth. In front of the middle face, is a table with white ornaments, which were the basic to life.

So my analysation of the picture is - That there are several other people looking and breathing in the essence of life itself. However, the middle one with the mouth is the main speaker to everything, grabbing all the attention, and bringing in front of the the basis of life itself.

Fernando: Wow. Since when did bimbos get to smart?
Me: I aim to surprise. :P

Wells, DOA was mainly okay. Although I expected much more of the storyline. Good action & all, but no substance.

Then after so, went to MOS Burger for dinner.

Encountered a couple of retarded boys who tried to act cool. Bah.

Chatted.

Fernando spilled mayo on his pants. Haha! And he remembered the other time we went out to eat Burger King, he spilled tomato on his pants as well.

I completely forgot 'bout it.

Then he sent me home.

By the time he got home himself, Adam was already asleep. Haha! Kinda good in a way, yea? God knows what that boy will do.

Alrites. Kinda tired actually. And tomorrow I got a PACKED day.

Muah! Ciao!

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

Sunday, October 29, 2006
7:26 PM

Gimme the Definition

Yesterday was a normal day I guess. I'm trying to find as much time to spend with me, myself & I before I start work! When I start, especially the first few weeks, it's gonna be tedious. I won't have anytime for myself...So better cherish myself!! *water wells up in eyes*

But I did have a craving to catch a movie. So I called my cousin, I mean, she means a lot to me!! I see my friends all the time, [you guys mean a lot to me too!!!!!!!] its just that I didn't hang out with her for quite some time. Then, this stupid baboon, replied my msg so late. And by the time she called me, I was already in Bishan.

I lazed on the couch...for about 10mins....

Mama: Adam & Jonathon are at Junction 8.
Me: Oh okay.
Mama: Fernando is upstairs studying.
Me: Oh really...*evil glint*

I couldn't resist! Haha!!

So I climbed up the stairs, and made my way into his silent solitude. I mean, I found it hard to believe he could be studying. Hahaha!! Then I saw him sitting on the chair, head facing out the window, rocking to the so-called music he listens to. No offence, but his kinda music, not my kind.

Apple spotted me, duh! But he didn't give me away. So I went up to Fernando and knocked his head.

Fernando: AAAHHH!! *jumps up in shock*

He almost literally jumped.

Friggin' funny.

Fernando: Adam is in Junction 8.
Me: I don't care.
Fernando: Oh yes you do!

Then we started chatting about Adam again. He sure has become a hot topic to talk about.

And Fernando showed me this analysis essay he wrote of me. GOSH! This guy knows me a hell lot. Wells, about 75%. He can point out exactly what and why I'm doing things the way I do. Truly amazing. Even my mom, who knew me all my life, doesn't know. His essay was more or less correct. Naturally, a bit off here and there. But generally, on the whole, I am impressed.

The way he analysed was like as if I was some literature book. He could recall practically everything I had said, and did. And of course, when Adam got home, he got jealous.

Haha.

I went downstairs to get my mom her stuff from my bag, then he was downstairs waiting. I went up to pass my mom her stuff, then went down again.

Adam: What are you and Fernando doing in the room? Closed the door, and the lights off....
Me: Nothing. Just chatting.

Then he kept on questioning....

Me: Y'know...Fernando knows me really well.
Adam: Really.

Then I stopped there. Before he exploded in jealousy and God knows what he will do to that skinny dudette..[Fernando]

After that, I went up to Fernando's room again. And I scared him again by wriggling my hands in front of him. HAHAHAHA!

He went to call Adam into the room. And then Adam and I talked. Barely joked.

I don't know. He tried to crack a few jokes here and there, but I didn't really find it funny. Ah wells.

Fernando is so right. I laugh over what I don't even find funny. Damn, I am weird.

Eventually, we went Junction 8 for dinner at Pasta Mania.

Zaw called me 3 times, but I didn't hear my phone. So I went out to call him, since Pasta Mania had no reception. He just called to ask me if I know this song....I met another weirdo. Haha!

Then Adam came out.

Adam: Why just now when I told you that another girl likes me, you didn't get jealous? Don't you love me?

Y'see, he told me earlier that Fernando's sister wants to know him. Wells, a lot of girls wanna know him anyways.

Me: Erm. Of course I do...Its just that, I don't show I am jealous. And anyways, it's quite a good thing that so many girls like you! I mean, the guy that a lot of girls want, only wants me!!!

Adam: Really?

Me: Haha. Yups.

Sigh.

After so, the boys went walking home. Mama & I went home as well.

That basically concluded my day.

[The following lines do not necessarily point at any particular person. Just smth I feel like typing.]

You had always been there.
Everything I needed, in front of me.
But I was always too playful to see.
Nothing had been fair.
I tried to fall in love.
Maybe I did,
But everytime in front of you,
it's only a false grin.
All the tough times you saw me through,
No one knows me better than you.
Girls swarm around you,
Guys to me too.
So both of us do not really need each other,
just pick another person -
maybe we could still live happily ever after.
If only life was that simple.
When I saw you go,
I realized who I really love.
When I saw you leave,
You took away a piece of me.
But I never surfaced my pains,
I would always act dry -
Even in the pouring rain.
You gave me security to hold,
You gave me enough affection to know,
that you mean it when you say,
'I love you'.

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

Saturday, October 28, 2006
9:35 AM

'Fickle' is mah middle name.

Yes, Lai. You are right. Maybe fickleness is in my genes ya?? Haha!!

Now, I'm seriously confused & mixed up. I could swear I'm over Zaw. But why am I still thinking of the times we spent together? Although they were not many....Haha.

I guess I could think so much coz' I got so much free time now. I'm trying to keep myself free, until I work. Treasure my free time till then!! If not by then, I will be....AAAAAHHH!! I won't have time to think of my next breath!!

What did I see in Zaw ???????

I was just telling Lai what it was like to be with him. This guy, was no help. He just kept on grinning. Blardy asswipe. :D But I'm glad even though Lai & I didn't work out together, we're still chatting like friends. Zaw & I are like, "do I even know you??" Well, at least I feel that way!!

Adam went to meet Tina today with Jonathon. According to Fernando, he is trying to matchmake Tina & Jonathon. I don't know. I'm supposed to be jealous right? Hmm, I guess to a certain extend. But I don't give a damn actually. Meet then meet. Put it this way, he is not mine. Now, if you say Zaw went to meet another girl, I will flare. Haha! Stupid of me. Coz' Zaw is no longer mine either.

I decided to be some loner today. Mama wanted me to join her for some lunch and dinner event. But I decided to play a low profile.

Mama: Just come!! My friends want to see you!!!

Me: Oh, [lying on the bed] they can see me another time! [rolls over] Enjoy yourself!! [GRIN!]

One reaon why I didn't wanna go was because, their lunch was at Novena. I'm gonna keep scarce of that area for a while. Just in case, yes ?

For those who don't know....Zaw lives there. And everytime I met him there when we were together.

Then I stayed at home, napped.

When out at night to Holland V to buy my dinner. I bought SUBWAY!! I ate soooo much. I scared myself. I ate the entire foot long subway melt, 3 cookies and large diet coke. *burp!!*

Then took a cab home. The driver had MAJOR attitude problems. Yucks.

Adam called. Our conversation was in chinese, duh!

Adam: Sorry I didn't reply your msg, I told you my phone has no more money right?

Me: Yups. Don't worry 'bout it. You went out with Tina today right?

Adam: Yea.

Me: Thats good! Had fun?

Adam: Nope. Prefer being with you. But today was just going to being Jonathon and Tina together. Now Tina belongs to Jonathon...

Me: Whatever you say....

Adam: Oei!! Really. Believe me okay?

Me: Haha! Yea.

Adam: Do you love me?

Me: Erm. Yea. Do you love me?

Adam: I do.

Me: Yups. Anything else?

Adam: Nope. Okay. Bye bye.

Maybe Fernando is right. I said 'I love you' before so many times in my life, it's routine. But to other people, it means different things. It holds different values. To Adam, he only says it when he really means it. But with me, its different. I could just go up to a stranger and say it with no problem.

Me: But he told me he loves Tina too....

Fernando: Try to understand. He is only a growing kid. Still young, sim? But he knows the one he REALLY wants and loves is you.

Me: Eww. I'm a selfish girl. I don't share. But if Tina really wants him, I can give him to her. I'm a generous soul !

Fernando: -.- Didn't you just say you were selfish? Anyways, this question has been bugging me. Will you believe me if I still like you?

Me: Yea. Why not? Adam told me. He is mightly jealous.

Fernando: No wonder he gives me those looks. So intimidating!

WAHAHAHA.

Fernando can be friggin entertaining sometimes.

Cannot blame Adam for feeling threatened.

Fernando's age is more ideal in matching to mine.

I had known Fernando for a long time, since I was a little girl. Wells, like when I was Primary 3 or 4? Okay...Not SOOO little.

Fernando speaks English. Haha. Which Adam is still trying to master. So communication is much easier for Fernando.

Fernando is always gets me laughing when chatting with him. Adam is more serious.

But when Fernando heard that Adam is threatened by him...His reaction was.....

MUAHAHA! THIS GUY HAS A SERIOUS INSECURITY COMPLEX!!!!!!

Now I only wanna see Adam all the time.

At the same time, I wanna be the way I was with Zaw.

Dammit.

Fickleness ARE in my genes.

To Ker/Darling/Kotong/Sister : Sorry for not telling you. I was scared you were still studying. Haha!! Yes yes, I remember our dates! And our x'mas prezzies to each other! Thanks for everything...Wo ai ni !! I really miss those times we shared...I almost cried while watching our videos just now. Haha! Siao liao. Do well for your O's!

Muah! Ciao!

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

Friday, October 27, 2006
8:36 AM

My, My, I move on fast

Most of you might not believe this.
I'm actually over Zaw already. Hahahaha!! Its really quick, I know. Actually, I was over in the late afternoon already. Now its COMPLETELY over. Wonder what did I see in him. I mean, he was nothing really. He doesn't show that he loves me, and money sucking.

Just now, Adam came over. Although I smsed him not to. My mom couldn't even give him lessons today! I am still quite pissed with him! Well, I WAS quite pissed. Considering I got news he kissed another girl.....But the REAL story..[according to Adam and Fernando...]

This girl, likes him. During that period of time, I wasn't showing Adam any care or concern. He thus thought I didn't care bout him. So when this girl kissed him, he allowed it. Plus, he isn't the kinda guy to reject a girl. [Dangerous, I know.]

Wells, stuff happened. Nothing extreme of course!!!!!!! I confessed to him already, "Actually, if I didn't feel that Zaw doesn't love me, I wouldn't give a damn to you." And he didn't seem to mind. So I linked this to him kissing the girl. Its the same thing !!! Therefore, I cannot blame him.

Think I was wrong, I didn't love Zaw. It was just my efforts I put in for lasting the 2mths bet. Then it dragged on.

Ah wells, over that.

And KER!! I'm not gonna get attached again so quickly lah! I know you know me well........But. Haiya. I better not talk so soon...... :P

Ciao!!

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

Thursday, October 26, 2006
6:14 PM

I didn't know. Till I lost you.

Well wells, woke up pretty early today! Couldn't really sleep actually. Maybe coz' I was thinking quite intensively 'bout Zaw. Y'see, even if I didn't break up with him, I would also be unhappy - he doesn't show me love!! So, either way I will still get hurt. May as well just get it over & done with, yes ?

But then again, I didn't know that I really loved him till I lost him. I know I was supposed to fall in love with someone so acting would be easier. Something to do with releasing of emotions or something....Yups. And also I should quit it before I TOTALLY fall in love. So I quited before I really TOTALLY fell in love. I didn't know it would hurt so much. I didn't cry....Coz' I didn't want Mama to see. Haha! I don't know...One side of me wants him back so much, yet the other side thinks it's better we are not together. I mean, I actually have more to gain if we break. My friends will stop complaining, I don't have to think of him all the time if he needs me to do anything....And many more.

As some of you may know, there is the China Boy. Haha!! He is history too! Gosh, last night was like...The Removal Of The Bad Boys! Kays, lame.

Y'see, my 'stepdaddy' is the owner of the school China Boy is in. I mean, that's how I came to know him. And there are news going around that China Boy kissed this girl in school who likes him. Then when my 'stepdaddy' asked if he loves me or that girl, he said me. Bullshit.

Somehow I was not really hurt at all upon hearing that. I was much more hurt and affected by Zaw. My mom was quite shocked that I had no emotions coming out. Wahaha! Now the China Boy broke his promise, I don't have to play the part of mine. I'm freeeee!!!!

But still, yearn for Zaw back. Yet still, I want him to come back only if he knows to show that he loves me. If not, it would just be another breakup.

Oh yes! And thank you to my friends who were by my side last night. Although you were all generally quite happy that I broke up with him. Hahaha!! Makes the pain a lot easier to bear. These were mainly the people....

Violet -> For calling me just SECONDS after we officially broke up. Although you were going thru some problems too. Haha! Both of us ended moaning to each other.

Eeqah -> No, girl!! I am still single! I don't just get re-attached in one night!!!

Nat -> Yes, finally! And I know it's wrong to miss him since he probably doesn't miss me.

Ash -> Thanks for consoling me on the phone. Haha!! And really caring about me. I'm so touched! :) Don't worry 'bout me. I don't dwell in things for too long - not my thang.

Cat -> Haha!! OMG!

And to the other people out there, don't worry!!!!!!!! It's not me to dwell in something for long. At the most, a few days ?

Muah! Ciao!

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

My mind is made up. Well, almost.

Many of my friends had been practically BEGGING that I break up with Zaw. Wells, it happened today!!

I don't know exactly what it is that I see in him, seriously. I just feel happy when I'm by his side. He cheers me up with just his phone call ; makes me upset when he fails to say 'I love you'. And this happened on countless occasions.

Lemme list out to you the reasons why I broke up with him.

1. Peer pressure - my friends just keep on insulting him, telling me how bad he is, that he is not good enough, and that he is cheating on me.

2. Money - let's not talk 'bout this one. Those who know 'bout this, keep it to yourself!!

3. Insecurity - he was never able to make me know that he really loves me. Even on those few occasions when he did, never lasted longer than a day.

4. Temptation - kays, this could be my fault. Because I feel he doesn't love me, I feel very swayed to others.

5. Attention & concern - hardly had these. When I was sick, it wasn't him who called me all the time to check if I was okay, or came to my house to give me medicine.

6. Love - none of it.

Good reasons, yes?

Sigh, I think this is just a weakness I got. I'm feeling a little...empty ? Maybe coz' he took up so much of my thoughts as to..WHY IS THIS BF LIKE THIS???

Oh wells, its over.

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

Friday, October 13, 2006
9:20 AM

A Day With My Babes!

Okays. Today, I went to meet Eeqah, Fang and Violet!! Supposed to meet at Cineplex, but an idiot like me!! Went to CineLEISURE. I didn't realize till Eeqah called me. Wahaha! So I had to walk all the way back to the bus stop, luckily the bus came fast.

We went to watch scoop!! At the front part, we were not really sure about the show....Coz' we didn't even know what the movie was 'bout really. Haha!! But on the whole, was kinda cool. Fangs & I shared a Couples Combo. I felt so paiseh asking for it!!! Haha!!

Fangs : Lets share a couples combo!!

Me: [ordering] Erm....C-couples combo. Yup.

Then, after the movie - We took an MRT to Orchard! When we walked out of the MRT, some random fella approached me about some modelling thing. So I lied.

"I am Nycole. Age 19. Number...." [I forgot which number I gave alrdy.]

Went walking around. Then went to Coffee Bean at Taka.

Took some random pics.

What you doin' violet??

What the.....

Fangs can do cock-eyes so well!! Eeqah, can't make it!!!! =P

Paul Twohill wanna-be!!!!!

MUSTACHE!!

~mmm Fang Fang.

Gerry heart Fang.

Candid - Lets see now babe....

Actin' innocent. May emphasize...ACTIN'

Yes girls. I know you LOVE the muffin.

Gerry & Fang @ CoffeeBean.

Y'know the music notes?? Doe-Ray-Mi !!!

Shoot her, and catch her.

Camera, camera, in Eeqah's hand....

ARGH!!!

WORLD PEACE

We chatted, and they told me some stuff bout Zaw. Tried convincing me to break with him coz' they think he is cheating on me.

Then, Gough came. We sat there, bitched a bit more.

Walked out to buy some snacks.

Then went to sit down outdoors, waited for Shane.

Aww. Ain't they sweet?

Chatted again, bitched again. Shane told me about Zaw's issue. I'm blardy confused now. I seriously don't know what to do.

Anyways, we went to Paragon. Sat down, and Marklin was late!! Supposed to meet me at 5.45, but he just woke up at 6!! So I had to wait for him till 6.45. In the meantime, ...

Wha...Did you say ?

OOPSY!! Caught me redhanded!!!

Allure me dahling.

Ooh.Sweet kisser.

Yes, babe. You got me.

Over & over again.

Girlfriend.

Babe.

Then, they went off to dinner. I called Marklin, and I had to go Heeren to pick him up. When I first came out to see him, he didn't even recognize me!! Considering he didn't see me for.....about 2-3yrs?? He was quite shocked.

Marklin : You have grown prettier.

Then the poor boy was starving. Haha! And said we will go for dinner after seeing Kate.

She looked better. I really hope she is doing fine. Love you, girl!! :) Then Marklin was trying to crack some jokes here & there. Haha. And some other of their church people came. A girl and guy. The 2 guys talked and talked, hilarious. Wahaha.

Then went off to have dinner at Cine, KFC. Coz' Marklin wanted the cheese thing. Marklin & I catched up a wee bit on times. After that, the guy went off. 3 of us went walking around looking for a gift. Then off to home!!!

I called Mama if she wanted anything for dinner - Coz' this stubborn woman didn't wanna go out for dinner. Then she said she wanted to go market, then wanted me to go with her.

Jase called. Ron smsed. I suspected smth. Confusing & long story. Can't be bothered to tell. But the underline is, I can't trust Ron. And I guess coz' of me...Jase went to curse & swear at Ron. Then Jase said some stuff like, it hurts him when I ignore him coz' he really loves me. Sweet. But no thanks.

Alrite. Thats it for today!

Ciao!!

Each line is special -

Each script is unique -

Wednesday, September 27, 2006
6:24 AM

Beware The Dragon Lady; her truth is an unwelcomed mystery, her twist is on poison lips.

I know my recent entries have been...negative. Haha! I was going thru an insecurity complex. Sorraye if I made any of you worry, and thanks to my girls for being there. Although you all spent most of the time encouraging the break!! Anyways, you all were still there.

Yesterday, went to watch Forbidden City at Esplanade. Woo-hoo!! I LOVE plays! Especially with my darling friends. I was running really late, so I took a cab down to meet Eeqah & Natalina. And finally when I got there, just nice, Eeqah called me.

Eeqah : Where are you ??

Well, considering I was 30mins late. I couldn't blame her for sounding a little pissed off.

Me : Erm. At the Robinsons taxi stand.

And before I knew it, Eeqah opened the door for me.

Eeqah : XIAO JIE!! XING!!

This girl picks up Chinese almost as quickly as I pick up vulgar Indian words. :P

Eeqah : Wow. You look good!!!

Me : Thanks! You too! :)

I love her dress!!

Then, Nat was waiting inside for us. She stuck her tongue at me through the glass door!! What a greeting....

Finally, met with Evelina & Thinn. Poor Thinn, got a scolding from her mom. DON'T WORRY GIRL!! WE ARE HERE!! :)

We went for dinner together. Only 4 of us ; Eeqah, Nat, Evelina & I. Somehow, we let ourselves be convinced by Nat that the other way to Esplanade, [not the underground way] was faster!

Eeqah & Me : HUH?! But that way we have to cross roads!!!!! We are on heels & wedges you know ??

Evelina & Nat : *rolls their eyes*

Then while walking, Nat asked me bout Zaw.

Evelina : Broke up already ??

Me : Well, kinda.....

Eeqah : It's not confirmed!!

Me : I don't know. I somehow feel he doesn't wanna let go yet.

Nat : Ahh. Okay...Well...

Me : Maybe I should call to confirm with him!

Evelina : No!! Don't call him! Let him call you....

Fine..

So, we walked and walked. Eeqah was complaining bout her blistering feet. I almost fell twice!! Evelina's little toe was killing her. Nat's ankle was red. Haha!!

All the causes of the "believed-to-be-shorter-way-to-Esplanade".

Eventually, we went to Thai Express to eat. And guess what ?? I think they forgot my order...

So, I called for someone to check on it. When I asked for it to be checked, they just started!!

I was so blardy pissed off. I was already so damn hungry, and we had a play to catch.

Waitress : Sorry miss. They just started.

Nat : *flaring up*

Me : (Quickly!) Okay! Just please hurry. I have a play to catch.

Waitress : Yes miss.

Nat : Gerry, call the manager.

Me : Give them a little time lah.

Then, we waited for like..10mins.

Nat : Gerry. Call the manager!!!

Me : Fine fine.

So I called the manager. Who in the nick of time, served my food.

However, Nat was not satisfied. When we went to pay our bill...She scrolled down to the service charge. And said really loudly.

Nat : Wa lau! Service charge is almost $5!! And the service is so bad....

Haha! This girl ah.

We went to meet up Pam, Wenfu, Miss Lee and the rest...

Miss Lee : Hello girls. Nice outfits.

Me : Thanks! Yours too :)

Eeqah : Thanks!

Nat scooted off to find Wenfu I think. Haha!

Then, we went into the theatre.

The play was...REALLY GOOD. I could really feel their emotions!! There was a strong connection that the 2 lead actresses were able to give off. The comedy was just given in the right amount of dosage - so as to not turn the mood of the audience to merely laughing & laughing. The tense moments were really tensed up. Scandalous was...scandal. Haha!!

Basically, I loved the musical!!! If only I could act in such plays too....Sigh. Wahaha.

However, the audience I was sitting with was..childish. They laughed at tensed and intimate scenes. They talked through some parts. I wouldn't mind if I had to pay extra to watch with a better audience next time!

Met Wenfu outside. Then Cat's dad gave me a lift home. So sweet! And he insisted on sending me INTO my house, not just stopping at the MRT. Thanks, uncle.

Wenfu greeted me online....

"Welcome home. Beware the dragon lady."

I was like.. -.-

Wahahaha.

Alrite. Thats my day basically. Ciao!

Each line is special -